


Introducing Red

by Mouser26



Series: The Series of Blood [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Other, but it's funny dialogue I think, just say no to R&D, office hijinks, the boring-ish office side of things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 07:06:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1889550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mouser26/pseuds/Mouser26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So we've seen the crazies in South Africa now come meet the more sane in New York. This is not your usual office building, or your usual boss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Introducing Red

"Here's the agenda for today's meeting, sir. Budgetary review of office supplies, first item; we're using too many staples according to the home office."

Senior Agent Crimson took the papers offered by his personal clerk, and flipped through the documents with the ease of a child reading a picture book. "They're seriously counting staples now?"

"Yes sir. Oh, and the coup was a failure; El Presidente sent his regards for our timely assistance."

"Did he send us staples?"

"Sir?"

"Nevermind,” Crimson dropped the stack neatly in his inbox “Apple, when we’re done here put me through to Canada; I need someone who can shine a bit of light on this."

"Procurement, sir?"

"No. Laurie."

“Sir may I ask something?”

“Shoot.”

“Why is Laurie not yet running the head offices?”

Crimson smiled, “He’s a smart man. Like you he could run the place in his sleep but he doesn’t want to. He wants to keep his head down, write his little cover stories, and let idiots like me direct the circus.It also keeps him from getting flack about his sister.”

"Speaking of whom, Magenta has put in for a new rifle."

This time Crimson didn't even look at the form he kept his eyes on the portly man before him,"Has she agreed to a new partner?"

"No."

The paper went back across the desk,“Then strap on a vest and go tell her the same."

Apple shifted, “What if she head-shots me?”

“She won’t, the bitch is crazy but she knows the value of a good brain. If anything she’ll shoot to wound and personal experience says you’ll live. Next box on the list?”

The portly clerk glanced at the right arm he knew was covered in varied twists of scars under Crimson's shirt. Looking away quickly he returned to his files. "Gladys redid the files, sir. They're now indexed by mission code name and filed in ascending order of pay grade."

"I don't like it. No one will ever be able to find a damn thing."

"Exactly, sir. We have the index; if someone were to break in-"

"I like it. Tell her to make it happen."

"Also R & D would like-"

"No."

"But they're under-budget-"

"No."

"Sir it's just-"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Last pitch, two words: electrified coaster."

"It was approved for field testing, sir."

"And they were off by an order of magnitude on the jolt; instead of a covert little heart attack, the target fried like a pork chop." Crimson deadpaned only looking up from his share of the files in the end. “So, in short, NO!"

Shifting Crimson groaned eyeing the last item on his list, “Shit. Is it really time for the Rookie Field Trip? As great as the betting pools are for this thing the thirty-two hour flights are fucking murder.”

“Sir you do know if you made the flight non stop it would only be fourteen.”

“It also costs more to have a plane with the fuel capacity to cross from New York to fucking nowhere Africa. Not to mention how many trained adults turn into fussy toddlers if they don’t get to stretch their legs, get scammed for shitty food, and curl up on granite mattresses under questionable sheets. Now are we done here?”

"There's an envelope being passed for Pop's birthday present."

"Which one?"

"Mailroom, sir."

"No, which birthday?"

"Somewhere north of fifty, sir. He refuses to say on the grounds we may retire him."

"Hell no! He's the only person in the building who knows the codenames for every damn thing we ship."

Crimson had the good sense to look sheepish as his right hand cleared his throat rather than protest,"Okay, one of two people. What're we getting him?"

"Spa day, sir."

This time Crimson stared, "Pops... old man, eyebrows like a pair of azalea bushes, fingernails that need bolt cutters and a belt sander to make headway on?" 

"Yes sir?"

"Get us footage of the spa and I'll foot that bill myself."

“Footage sir? Why?” 

“Did we not just discuss a very long flight during which I may or may not have to mentally scar some subordinates?“

“That’s hardly playing fair sir.”

“Apple we are spies, and suppliers for the highest bidders, playing fair is the last thing on my to do list.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is just some random yet relevant dialogue between two later to be important characters. 
> 
> If it's not clear Crimson runs the New York offices the same way Hyena does South Africa (albeit in a more business like fashion.  
> Apple is his Radar O Riley (though Crims is fairly well versed in his own office goings on)
> 
> As I said before always looking for interest or questions that may need answering.
> 
> I have no idea what order to best roll this whole mess out so any requests would likely get first priority.


End file.
